







As I listen to my favorite song "Show's Dickons Garden" I look outside my window and the trees are swerving side to side as the wind takes over. Sitting in my couch trying to finish my history paper, I decided to take a break because I'm honestly not going pretty far with my paper. I'm all alone, except with the company of jojo and I'm feeling very calm somehow, it is a feeling I can not explain but it is very sincere and peaceful. In addition to my feelings I am very anxious for this semester to be over because christmas is around the corner and also I have a book I want to finish reading. Actually I have a handful of books to read. Well as I patiently await the day I continue looking outside my window and a dark cloud is surrounding my house, rain I suppose is about to pour and I am glad that it is. Thankfully I am home, therefore once it starts pouring I can put on my movie "The Secret Garden" and start the kettle for my hot tea. My blanket is warm and fuzzy, my hands are cold, my eyes are shutting. Friday is the new Sunday for me. Winter is precious and peaceful, tranquility is hitting in now CIAO BELLA


Breaking Up
Yeah, I don’t think I want to see you anymore. You don’t really need me and I’m kinda intimidated by your real job. I’m not gonna do that whole let’s-see-other-people thing though…that leads to all this fucking crying and I end up feeling like a total dick.
Instead I’m gonna just quietly withdraw and stop responding to your texts, occasionally emerging from the ether to send you cryptic, apologetic emails about my current bout of episodic depression. I’ll use figurative language like “buried under life” or “in a cocoon” or “I’m a fucking trainwreck” and make increasingly vague references to hanging out in the near future. Then you’ll have a chance to get used to the idea of not having me in your life as I gradually fade into nothingness. (True, one time this chick sent me an email after I ghosted telling me she was all bewildered and furious, but she was crazy possesive or some shit.) That way when I finally run into you at Brooklyn Bowl and I’m with my new girl (the one I started hanging out with when I started sending you those emails—chyeah, I dovetail babes), everybody’s cool.
Really, this is better for everybody.
Today is my birthday! surprise surprise I'm officially 23! amazing how old I get and yet look young. I could get mistaken by being a teenager now a days, since most of them look 30 now. And yes, that is me trying to be mean but it is the truth, cant hide from it. Well my birthday, October 13, 2009 landed on a tuesday, therefore I had class today and a club meeting. Class was boring, yet effective, I did learn something you know. And the meeting was good, even better was the fact that they had a birthday cake for me. I was so surprised and happy at the same time. I didn't know who idea it was, but I did find out and yes thank you marco! it was nice of you to buy me a cake, Thank you. The night is almost over and I cant wait for the weekend, tons of fun with my best buddy! ciao bella